04 April 2011
Yep, the times are a-changing. My life is changing. I am changing. The people in my life are changing. Change means a couple of things: things just don't remain the same, and sometimes things have to become different in order for them to be sound and for me to retain my sanity.
Yesterday I did a thorough Facebook cleansing--where I went through my friends and deleted several who I no longer interact with. Why does someone I barely know and have any contact with in my day-to-day life need to know or (and especially) care about what I am doing? Why do I care about what they are up to? Is this pure nosiness? Stalking? "Falking," (Facebook+Stalking) I think is what it's called. Whatever it is, it's weird and unnecessary. In this age of social media, it is interesting that we are often friends with 500+ people on Facebook and barely know half of them...and now our face to face communication is lacking because we sit behind a screen and expect it to suffice for human contact. In case you were wondering: it doesn't.
I have been finding out that the people who really matter are the ones who stick by you no matter what, and who aren't just there when they feel like it. Everyone is busy, everyone has their own lives, but there is always time to be a friend. Always. Between homework and jobs and significant others and everything else, it can be difficult to balance things, but it is really unfortunate when friendships fall apart because one (or both) parties "doesn't have time" to nurture it. Time is a restraint that we use as an excuse way too often. "No, I don't have time to help you because I am busy." "Even though I am aware you really need my help, I can't because I have to go to lunch with my girlfriend/boyfriend/other friend/family member." "I know you have dropped everything to be there for me when I needed you but since I have something else that involves, you aren't that important anyway."
Since my knee surgery, and especially in the couple weeks following it, I found out who my real friends were--the ones who didn't mind walking with a gimpy girl, the ones who came over and said hey, the ones who called just to see how I was, the ones who took time to even send a text or a Facebook message asking how I was doing. I was surprised that in many cases, the people who did this were not the friends whom I thought would; they were the ones I least expected.
Sometimes, I guess, life and the world have a funny way of working. Life surprises you. People surprise you, for better or for worse. I guess that's what life is about: finding people you can count on. We all need human contact and we all need friends to fall back on when the going gets tough...but I for one do not need the kind of friends we have grown accustomed to: the kind that are behind a computer screen, the kind that use you for whatever they need at the time. It is ridiculous to expect people to reciprocate your actions--you do things for other people because you WANT to, not because you expect something in return. But, sometimes it is okay to step away and realize that you are worth more than what they give you. Have respect for yourself, and the rest will fall into place.
And that is exactly what I am doing.